Teen Moms Like A Virgin

Tonight I was inspired by a blog, The Virgin Mary: A Christian Case for Respecting Teen Mothers <http://slutocracy.wordpress.com/2012/12/26/the-virgin-mary-a-christian-case-for-respecting-teenage-mothers/>

While I feel this blog was short, sweet, and to the point, I have another major point I could argue under the previous blog’s title. The point made in the original blog was sound. Christmas is a time of celebrating families, which includes young mothers and single mothers. It is brought up that teen mothers are “stigmatised” (SIC) by the most religious of all. While that is a valid point, I want to take the idea deeper into Christianity and our ideals, glorifying our God, not just making a point to man.

Beyond Mary being a young mother, beyond her being a mother at all, she was an imperfect human who was blessed directly by our Lord. Many of the American politicians who are so adamant that teen girls should not be mothers will also fight that abortion is NEVER permissible  They argue that any child that is conceived is a gift and a blessing from God. This is a blatant double standard.

Christmas is a time to celebrate God and His many blessings. I am a single mother and at Christmas, I feel empathy towards Mary. She must have been frightened and I am sure she felt judged. I imagine there were people telling her she shouldn’t be having a baby. I imagine there were feelings of doubt and fear in her mind. However, an angel of God told her she would bear a child and would name him Jesus.

The truth is two pink lines don’t speak a child into existence. A young girl making bad choices does not create life. Rape and molestation do not cause conception. Many women try to have babies for years and are unable. Many teens consistently have unprotected sex, but no pregnancies. Rapes occur without resulting in fetal development. Pregnancies can even last for months, in teen girls or grown women, without resulting in the delivery of a living infant. The absolute only thing that guides a sperm to fertilize an egg, the only thing that speaks life into an embryo, the only Being that has the power to see that little collection of cells into a full grown infant, ready to be born into the world, is God.

When we judge a teen mother or refuse to offer her the help and support she and her child need, and instead we damn and condemn her, we are judging God’s choices. We are putting down His creation. The Lord blesses those He so chooses with children for His reasons. We, as true Christians, need to see it is our duty to love and cherish every breathe of life the Lord breathes into existence. It is our responsibility to reach out as the hands and feet of Christ and give support. We shouldn’t stop judging because there were extenuating circumstances in which that girl didn’t sin. She did. Just as “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) We should stop judging because that is where our right to be more Christlike ends. He is the only judge and He chose each and every mother as part of His perfect plan. It is our chore as Christians to pull these young women and sometimes men as well into the church to allow God to place peace and healing, strength and wisdom into them so their children may be better off.

In conclusion, I share a scripture from the Bible.

Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. 

Children are a heritage from the Lord. Even those that were not planned or conceived in the most appreciable manner are a gift from God. We need to treasure those gifts and help those they were given to take the best care possible of them.

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A Drop of Honesty: 25 years and counting

I wanted to share a story/poem that I thought a lot of girls might be able to relate to.

Here it is:

Once there lived a girl, whose name we needn’t know.

Her purpose was to be a mother, at least she believed it so.

It was all she ever wanted and by 17 she thought

If she only had more money, a man, and a job

She would have all that she needed to make her perfect life.

She would be a perfect mother and strive to be the perfect wife.

She packed all of her things and drove 3000 miles away.

She met a boy and fell for him on that very day.

Six months passed. She had a job. There was little left to want.

So they made plans, but they split before she found she was pregnant.

She kept the baby and believed she was as ready as she could be,

But started having doubts just before the baby had turned three.

25, she now believed, was the perfect age.

Up until she hit that year, she hadn’t set the stage.

Somewhere between 21 and now, she should have had a chance

To look inside herself and catch more than just a glance.

Just months before she was 25, the ache really sank in

“I know that I’m a mother, but other than that, I don’t know who I am”

She never got to travel, to question or to explore.

She never really had to the chance to look for something more.

She lost her shot at many things she wished she could have done,

And though she wouldn’t trade them for her daughter or her son,

If you’re this girl and wondering if you are ready or not,

Look inside and ask if you know just who you are.

Even things you don’t think you’ll miss, someday maybe you might.

If she could just delay this chapter, her whole story, she’d rewrite.

She would never give them up, but she keeps wishing she had waited,

So if you’re walking in her shoes, let your child’s birth be belated.

Maybe when you’re 25, you’ll look back and thank me

Because before you know yourself, it’s very hard to be

The mother you want to be.

Now I don’t feel this is the case for every single person, but a lot of women, between 20-25 really get the chance to find themselves and become the person they want to be. Before 18 at least, most people don’t have the funds to explore all the lifestyles and hobbies they may be curious about and even if you have, many of our interests change once we really reach adulthood and start to take on responsibility for ourselves. I would highly suggest waiting until at least 25 to consider having a baby. Even if you are like the girl in the story, who knew from childhood, that being a mother was the most important thing for her to do in life, just wait. Had she waited those 3-4 years, she would have been a very different woman. She would be more confident and more well-rounded. Her parenting might change and many things in her children’s lives would have changed. Again, I can’t say across the board that no one is ready to be a parent before 25, but I would highly suggest some major planning and SOUL SEARCHING before having a baby at any age! It’s A LOT of work and not something you can ever give up on or take back!