I wanted to share a story/poem that I thought a lot of girls might be able to relate to.
Here it is:
Once there lived a girl, whose name we needn’t know.
Her purpose was to be a mother, at least she believed it so.
It was all she ever wanted and by 17 she thought
If she only had more money, a man, and a job
She would have all that she needed to make her perfect life.
She would be a perfect mother and strive to be the perfect wife.
She packed all of her things and drove 3000 miles away.
She met a boy and fell for him on that very day.
Six months passed. She had a job. There was little left to want.
So they made plans, but they split before she found she was pregnant.
She kept the baby and believed she was as ready as she could be,
But started having doubts just before the baby had turned three.
25, she now believed, was the perfect age.
Up until she hit that year, she hadn’t set the stage.
Somewhere between 21 and now, she should have had a chance
To look inside herself and catch more than just a glance.
Just months before she was 25, the ache really sank in
“I know that I’m a mother, but other than that, I don’t know who I am”
She never got to travel, to question or to explore.
She never really had to the chance to look for something more.
She lost her shot at many things she wished she could have done,
And though she wouldn’t trade them for her daughter or her son,
If you’re this girl and wondering if you are ready or not,
Look inside and ask if you know just who you are.
Even things you don’t think you’ll miss, someday maybe you might.
If she could just delay this chapter, her whole story, she’d rewrite.
She would never give them up, but she keeps wishing she had waited,
So if you’re walking in her shoes, let your child’s birth be belated.
Maybe when you’re 25, you’ll look back and thank me
Because before you know yourself, it’s very hard to be
The mother you want to be.
Now I don’t feel this is the case for every single person, but a lot of women, between 20-25 really get the chance to find themselves and become the person they want to be. Before 18 at least, most people don’t have the funds to explore all the lifestyles and hobbies they may be curious about and even if you have, many of our interests change once we really reach adulthood and start to take on responsibility for ourselves. I would highly suggest waiting until at least 25 to consider having a baby. Even if you are like the girl in the story, who knew from childhood, that being a mother was the most important thing for her to do in life, just wait. Had she waited those 3-4 years, she would have been a very different woman. She would be more confident and more well-rounded. Her parenting might change and many things in her children’s lives would have changed. Again, I can’t say across the board that no one is ready to be a parent before 25, but I would highly suggest some major planning and SOUL SEARCHING before having a baby at any age! It’s A LOT of work and not something you can ever give up on or take back!